


S(no)w Angel

by malafight



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Strap-Ons, Suicide mention, Things Happen And It Might Be Intense, aggressive consent and communication, boy i wish i could split the tags up by chapter, cheap knockoff christmas plot, is there a kink for someone cooking because i think peridot has it, pillow humping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-09 06:21:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8879314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malafight/pseuds/malafight
Summary: Peridot's luck has turned sour, and God has sent her a (hot as hell) guardian angel to make sure she survives until Christmas. Jasper is said guardian angel, and truthfully, her heart isn't as in it as it should be. But hey, nothing a little Christmas Magic can't change, right? ...right.





	1. Not A Meet Cute

If she had broken a mirror, Peridot would have understood her string of bad luck lately. Clumsiness could account for the numerous cuts and bruises on her body, too, but everything else…

_ “Amethyst! You’re objectively the best match for me! Let’s go out!” _

Peridot groaned and rubbed down her face, immediately regretting that as her glove had accumulated some snow and now her nose was even  _ more _ numb. And wet to boot.

_ “H-haha, Peri, good joke-” _

_ “I’m not joking? I’ve done all the calculations and of all of the girls I know, you’re clearly the most capable and hold the highest status! You’re almost perfect!” _

Snow crunched under foot as she walked across campus. Her bike had been stolen today, too. It was registered with the school, so maybe she’d get it back. Probably not. She’d spent a good three hours trying to explain everything to the campus cops, about how she’d secured her bike with the perfect combination of loops on the highest grade of bike lock she could afford, and how she’d only ever locked it to the designated areas even though every  _ other _ heathen out there would lock their bikes willy-nilly to trees and lampposts and sometimes other bikes, and how some  _ monster _ had come around with bolt cutters-- who carried those around anyway?  _ Seriously? _ \-- and picked  _ her bike _ out of the twenty  _ other _ bikes there, but of course her bike was perfect so why would they  _ not _ pick hers out of all of them, she did so much research before picking the best brand and finding the perfect shade of green and-

Well… long story short, she was on the complete opposite side of campus from her dorm, in the cold, without a bike. With a long walk ahead of her to think about every little thing that had happened today.

_ “P-Peri, I dunno how ya dunno this, but I’ve been taken for like… ages. How d’you not notice Pearl ‘n me bein’ all over each other, anyhow?” _

Calling that an embarrassment would be the understatement of the century. Even thinking about it again made her cheeks burn red and her nose grow warm again, not sure if the wetness on her cheeks was melting snow or actual tears. She’d alternated between crying and yelling all day today and it’s all kind of blurred together at this point.

_ “Miss Keil, after looking at your final, I’m not sure if this is the best fit for you. You scored eleven percent, the lowest I’ve  _ ever _ seen in my class. You’re not going to be passing this semester.” _

She’d skipped the second question and bubbled everything else in on the wrong line. Eleven percent was out of sheer luck, which seemed to be about her current level of luck in general lately.

_ “Peridot, dear, I raised you to be self-sufficient. You can get a job. I don’t need to fund your poor eating habits and video game addiction.” _

Mother’s call wasn’t really surprising, at least. Or maybe her day had already beaten her down enough that it just  _ didn’t _ surprise her at this point. Of course her mother would guilt her and tell her she isn’t working hard enough, why would she  _ ever _ be surprised about that, nothing is ever enough-

The sound of crunching snow changed from concrete to metal and she looked up. At least she’s halfway to her dorm; the metal bridge she was crossing marked the river that cut the campus in half. She’d been walking along the road that cut the campus in half the other way.

Once she reached the middle, where the water rushed under the bridge with a rather pleasant sound in the cold night air, she stopped. Her breath puffed out white under the lamplight as she turned and settled against the guardrail, watching the water rush by beneath her.

For a brief moment, she considered how easy it would be to just hop the rail and plunge into the river below, before shaking her head and sighing. Too cold. Too slow. Too much work. She’s not  _ that _ desperate yet, anyway-

“No. Don’t. Stop. You have so much to live for.”

Peridot jumped and  _ yelped _ at the sudden voice near her. It was low, gruff but still feminine, and  _ incredibly sarcastic _ . She tried to decide whether to be startled or snappish as she turned to face the source of the voice, only to stumble over her words and manage a valiant attempt at something that sounded surprised and vaguely questioning.

Because  _ god damn _ that woman was  _ smoking hot _ .

“Listen, I’m not jumping in so you can try to save me with your noodle arms.  _ It’s A Wonderful Life _ ends at the bridge meeting, pipsqueak.”

She was easily six feet, if not more, and  _ big _ , with a build that suggested weight-lifting or shot put as extracurricular activities, thick arms and legs and a layer of fat protecting her core. Her skin was dark, in most places, save the lightened areas that took a moment or two to click as  _ vitiligo _ , and her hair was thick and bleached pale. The phrase  _ built like a brick shithouse _ flickered briefly through Peridot’s mind as she stammered for a moment or two.

“I- I wasn’t gonna-”

“With your luck lately, you might just slip and fall right under the rail.”

“M-my-  _ what _ how did you- where did you come from? Who are you, what are you doing h-” Peridot found herself abruptly shushed by a thick, warm finger over her lips as the mystery woman stepped forward with what she could only describe as a  _ growl _ .

“ _ Quiet! _ Oh my  _ God _ please tell me you have an off switch.”

Peridot only managed an indignant sound at that before she stepped away, mouth open to give the woman a piece of her mind. She stepped wrong, foot slipping off the curb, and finished the step with the sickening  _ crunch _ of a twisted ankle and a pained yelp, with the rest of her spilling into the road after.

Every last shred of indignation disappeared into the frigid air, replaced by hiccuping sobs as the weight of every awful thing that happened landed on her with full force, and for a few long moments she was just  _ crying _ there in the middle of the road, oblivious to everything as she’s ugly sobbing, tears cold on her skin and numb nose running.

She didn’t notice the rumbling of a truck, likely headed to the dining hall with tomorrow’s lunch, until there were bright lights headed right toward her-

Then the feeling of a sudden  _ jerk _ as she was dragged out of the way by the front of her hoodie, and her hiccupping sobs just because frightened little hiccups as she stared in awe at her savior, the woman’s hands now heavy and warm on her shoulders.

“You okay?” the woman asked, and Peridot just- nodded, first, before shaking her head instead.

“E-everything is b-bad-”

“Can see where you’d think that. You ended up with a bad luck rating high enough to merit a guardian. Can you walk?”

Peridot didn’t even think about the  _ guardian _ comment, her panic-addled mind only latching onto the question. She tried to stand, pushing herself up with gloved hands and just barely putting weight on her injured foot, only to fall heavily back to the ground with a whine.

“N-not right now- m-maybe- in a bit-” but by then she was shaking, shock and pain and cold closing in on her, and even her attempts to rub her upper arms to warm up were failing.

Her mystery woman sighed and slipped her heavy jacket off her shoulders, settling it down on Peridot’s instead.

“Come on, let’s get you back to your dorm, Peri.”

“H-how d’you know m’name?” Peridot mumbled, blinking up at the woman and looking dazed and puffy-eyed from her crying.

“Thought I told you. I’m your guardian, Jasper. Here to see that you make it to Christmas without getting your ass run over.” And then, after a moment, Jasper added a mumbled, “Probably gonna be the hardest two weeks of my life…”

Peridot sniffled.

“Wh-who hired y-you?”

“Uh. That’s. Not how… uh.” Jasper looked, for several long moments, completely lost. “Nobody hired me. God sent me because you ended up with one of the worst bad luck streaks in the area.”

“God?” Peridot squinted, then sort of started scooting backwards with her one good leg, away from the crazy woman.

“N-no- Listen-” Jasper growled and stood up, shaking her head. “I know it sounds fucking insane, but she sent me to keep you alive. And other stuff. But mostly to make sure you don’t end up a smudge on the pavement. Don’t scoot back into the road.”

“God’s a girl?”

“That’s what you got from that?”

“So you’re like my guardian angel, then. C’n I see your wings?”

“No. Here, c’mon. I’ll help you get to your room before you freeze to death.”

Jasper didn’t even wait for Peridot to recover or react, just grabbed the smaller woman by both arms and picked her up, eliciting a loud yelp as Peridot wiggled her legs a bit. When Jasper set her back onto the ground, she shifted all her weight to the one good leg and grabbed at Jasper for stability. To her credit, Jasper neither flinched nor waved Peridot away.

When Jasper turned around, Peridot squinted, confused for a few moments until the taller woman spoke again.

“C’mon, arms around my neck and hop when I tell you to. I’ve got you.”

Peridot paused long enough to slip her arms into the too-big sleeves of Jasper’s coat before complying. Jasper hefted Peridot easily, locking her arms under the smaller woman’s butt and starting to head towards Peridot’s dorm.

“Try not to die of frostbite while I walk. I’d hate to fail this early.”

Peridot just made a little distracted  _ mmn _ sound, enjoying the warmth of Jasper’s body and the sound of snow crunching under boots.


	2. Two-Hit Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper and Peridot make it back to Peri's dorm, only to have her bad luck deliver a surprise visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! I'm glad to see people enjoying this!! I forgot to mention yesterday (I was rushed TT^TT so much Christmas...) that the title of this work is credit to corpseauthority on tumblr, as they came up with a better title in ten seconds than I had gotten in ten minutes.
> 
> I went ahead and upped the rating on this baby. I have made my decision and There Will Be Filth. So now it's like Lifetime After Dark I guess.
> 
> Enjoy! I'm so glad ya'll seem to like this so far!!

For a long time, the only sounds were the crunch of snow under Jasper’s boots and her breath puffing out every few steps, interspersed with little occasional hiccups or sniffles from Peridot, who was still recovering from her crying spell and the shock of nearly being run over. By the time they were almost to her dorm, though, she was recovered enough to start asking questions.

“Why’d God send  _ me _ a guardian angel? Like, what’s so great about me that- she-” She stumbled over the pronoun for a moment, still getting used to the change, “-sent someone to make sure I’m okay? I mean, that’s a little ridiculous, little ol’ good-for-nothing me-”

“Doesn’t work like that,” Jasper grunted. “Your name was on the list, you get guardian. You rolled some pretty awful luck, so now I’m here.”

“You’re pretty grumpy for an angel,” Peridot huffed.

“I didn’t sign up for this gig. I just wanted to die and that be that, but here I am, gotta play babysitter to a runt who doesn’t even know how to walk right.”

“I have weak ankles!” Peridot said, frowning. “I couldn’t find my wraps today!”

She couldn’t see for sure, but Peridot was fairly certain that she could  _ hear _ Jasper rolling her eyes.

“I’m not carrying you around any more after this.”

“You won’t have to. I’m used to it and I’ll be able to walk in an hour or two. The tendons and everything are stretched out so they roll easily, but they also recover a lot fas-”

“Stop. Please. Stop talking. More information than I needed.”

Peridot huffed and leaned her head against the small of Jasper’s back with more force than absolutely necessary.

“Some angel.”

“What, you were expecting someone all dressed in white, all waiflike with bigass wings, ready to help and coddle you until everything is all better?  _ Ha! _ I just need to make sure you don’t get grievously hurt or killed by your own shitty luck, then I can rest in peace.”

“I was actually thinking ‘ten feet tall with like a million eyes that also happen to be on fire’ but sure. Let’s go with your description. Why just until Christmas?”

“Everything resets at Christmas. You’d think it would be New Year’s, but no. Christmas. Clean slate. Happy Birthday Jesus Fuckin’ Christ.”

Peridot was quiet for a few moments, blinking in surprise at the flippant way Jasper was referring to Higher Powers who apparently exist after all.

“...how are you even an angel.”

“Beats the hell out of me.”

Peridot was not actually sure if that was a joke. Her attempt to ask was interrupted by an  _ oh _ from the angel. They were in front of her building, and Peridot hadn’t even noticed-

“Need your key, short stuff.”

“Can’t you just. Like. Angel magic it open…” Peridot whined.

“...seriously. I don’t get magic, I get like one miracle in case things go horribly wrong, but if you make me waste that on a card reader I think I might kill you myself.”

Peridot sighed at that and patted Jasper’s chest like she was trying to get the angel’s attention.

“Lemme down, then. Can’t get t’my wallet without falling.”

Jasper gave a noncommittal grunt, but unlaced her fingers and left Peridot to hang off her back for a second or two. Peridot landed on her good foot and grabbed the back of Jasper’s shirt-- for balance, of course-- with one hand while she reached into her back pocket with the other.

When she raised her keycard and tapped Jasper on the back of the shoulder with it, Jasper flinched and turned, pulling away, but she only had a moment to furrow her brow before the angel’s demeanor returned to the haughty annoyance it had been before. Jasper took the keycard and opened the door, holding it open for Peridot to hobble inside using a fistful of Jasper’s shirt and then the doorjamb to keep her balance. Every half-step onto her twisted ankle was accompanied by a whiny little hiss of pain.

“Which one’s your place?” Jasper finally asked, once the door was closed behind them and Peridot was clinging onto her sleeve for balance. Peridot pointed at the nearest door.

“Went for this one. It’s got the fastest route out of the building in case of a fire, which-- while we haven’t had a  _ proper _ fire yet this year-- has proven invaluable thanks to the six separate occasions of people setting them off via candles or popcorn or-”

“ _ Stop. _ ”

Peridot fell irritatedly silent as she started hobbling towards her door, only having to take a few limping steps without Jasper’s help before her door was there to stabilize against. She fished a small keyring out of her jacket pocket to unlock the door and pushed it open wider so Jasper could follow her inside. She grabbed for one of the stools at the counter and started hobbling her way across the common room to the loveseat using various pieces of furniture, finally hopping the last few feet to just collapse onto the couch with a loud, theatrical groan.

“I hate everything.”

Peridot propped her injured ankle up on the arm of the couch and just stared at the ceiling for a while, breathing slowly and trying not to cry again as the day pressed back in on her.

Jasper let the door fall closed behind her and threw a cursory glance around the room, her attention drawn immediately to the kitchen. Peridot struggled to sit up after the distinctive clatter of a cabinet door falling shut broke the silence. It took a moment or two before she managed to get upright enough to see what it was, only to see Jasper holding a bag of chips.

A bag of chips that did not belong to Peridot.

A bag of chips that had been  _ closed _ the last time Peridot had seen them.

“Put them back! Th-those aren’t even mine-!” She cried, her voice much higher-pitched than normal. Jasper looked over at her, made eye contact, and stuffed a chip in her mouth.

“I haven’t eaten since I died.”

“That’s no excuse!”

“I carried you all the way here! You can buy more or something, damn.”

Peridot just froze, making a hiccuping sound before the tears started again, running hot and fat down her cheeks. Jasper almost seemed to floof up a bit in surprise, then sighed and shook her head. The bag of chips ended up on the counter, and Jasper grabbed a paper towel.

“C’mon, don’t be like that. They’re just chips,” she offered, looking a bit put out as she crouched in front of Peridot and held the paper towel out towards her. “I can’t un-open the bag. I’m sorry.” She lowered her voice a bit at the end, looking to the side.

“N-no I- I don’t- h-have the money- m-my mom-” Peridot had to stop talking for a moment or two as she tried scrubbing her eyes, still sobbing, “M-mom w-won’t send any m-more money to e-eat, ‘n the dinin’ hall i-is closin’ for Christmas, a-an’ I can’t g-go home b-because the tickets are t-too muh-uch-” Peridot’s crying turned into wailing at the end, “E-everyone else alr-eady left, a-an’ I’m gonna be a-alone a-an’ I d-don’t even have enough f-food-”

Jasper seemed to almost shrink, her posture changing more and more with each sobbing breath from Peridot, expression softening as well until she was actually looking  _ worried _ as she pressed the paper towel into Peridot’s gloved hand, getting it needlessly wet from the snow but not even really noticing.

“C’mon, it’ll be okay. I’m here to make sure you make it to Christmas, so you’re not allowed to die of starvation. I’ll steal food from somewhere, I guess.”

Peridot looked aghast at that, face all streaked with tears and snot.

“N-no! I-I’d rather go h-hungry than  _ steal- _ ”

Jasper just  _ sighed _ , deflating some and shaking her head.

“I’ll figure something else out then. You need to eat.”

Peridot found herself looking at Jasper just a little too long after that, face flushed from more than just crying as she realized that Jasper actually looked  _ kind _ right now, instead of grumpy-- and it was  _ nice _ \--

She started and looked away, burying her face in the paper towel and scrubbing her cheeks and puffy eyes, blowing her nose, doing everything she can not to think about how  _ nice _ Jasper was acting, and how close she was, and just how  _ attractive _ she was when she wasn’t being a grump and her face wasn’t warped into some kind of scowl--

The door slammed open and they both flinched, Peridot especially since  _ all three of her roommates had already left- _ \- and Jasper was up on her feet again in a flash, looking ready to fight.

A man stumbled into the room, grinning like a fool. Early twenties at best, and drunk as hell, slurring his words when he spoke.

“Hhhheyyy, this in’t my room…”

He looked at the two of them across the room and his grin took on a bit of a lecherous slant.

“Ooh… could be t’night, though… you ladies up for a little  _ men- minnadja _ \- threesome?”

Peridot looked  _ horrified _ , too paralyzed by the suddenness of the drunk’s appearance and the brazen proposition to do anything.

Jasper, however, looked  _ disgusted _ as she stalked over to the drunk. Peridot watched as her angel  _ loomed _ over the slouched figure and put her hands on her hips.

“No. You need to leave. Now.”

“Aww, sweetheart, why ya gotta be like tha~at?” he slurred, swaying a bit and grinning up at Jasper, who was a good foot taller than him.

“Because neither of us want your filthy-ass whiskey-dick anywhere near us. Get out.”

The drunk’s demeanor changed immediately as he hauled back to punch Jasper. The angel caught his fist in the palm of her hand with ease and  _ squeezed _ , eliciting a pained yelp from the drunk. Then she bent his wrist back enough that he was was whimpering and crouching lower.

“Get. The. Fuck. Out.”

“Okay okay okayokayokay just lemme go I’ll leave-” Jasper released his hand, only for the drunk to whip out a knife and slash across her belly, spitting “ _ Bitch! _ ” in the process--

Jasper jumped backwards and the knife just cut a slice through her shirt, and in the same motion she threw a punch.

Peridot heard Jasper’s uttered  _ “Fucker-!!” _ at the same moment she heard the sound of flesh hitting flesh. And then the drunk fell onto the floor, nose bleeding, and didn’t get up. Jasper was standing over him and panting, fists still clenched. Peridot was fairly certain she’d never been this wet in her life.

Then Jasper stepped back some and got a look at the rip across the belly of her shirt with an irritated grunt. She pulled the shirt off over her head, leaving her wearing a black sports bra and a white undershirt, and as Peridot watched the movement of Jasper’s shoulder muscles, she recanted her previous thought.

She was  _ absolutely certain _ she’d never been this wet in her life.

Jasper dropped her shirt onto the counter, still panting, and leaned over the drunk, holding her hand in front of his face. She sighed in relief.

“Still breathing. Limp-dick motherfucker. You gonna be okay while I take out the trash?”

Peridot crossed her legs and nodded, trying not to think about how red her face was. Jasper hefted the unconscious drunk onto her shoulder and Peridot had to press her hands to her mouth to muffle the delighted squeak at just how  _ easily _ the angel had lifted him. It felt like she didn’t even breathe again until Jasper was out the door, and then she just collapsed onto her side on the loveseat with a breathy  _ “Fuck.” _

She was still flopped over like that when Jasper returned, the angel making  _ damn sure _ to lock the door behind herself this time.

“Feeling better?” Jasper asked as she crossed over, looking all flushed and even a little proud -- and a bit chilly, Peridot noticed, two layers of clothing doing nothing at all to conceal that fact. Apparently she’d dumped the guy outside, if the snow in her hair and flecks of water on her bare arms were any indication.

Peridot pushed herself upright again and nodded, pale skin still a little red.

“The excitement helped.”

“Sorry you had to see that-” Jasper started, sheepishly looking at the floor.

“Are you kidding?!” Peridot interrupted. “That was  _ amazing! _ You took him out with  _ one punch _ \- were you a boxer or something before you died?”

Jasper flinched and looked away, her demeanor changing back to the grump from earlier.

“You should get some sleep. You got Netflix here? I never finished  _ Leverage _ .”

“One of my roommates has hers hooked into the TV… You won’t need to sign in, just don’t mess with any settings,” Peridot said, sounding considerably less excited that she had been.

“Alright. Great. Hobble your ass to bed. I’m not watching you sleep, so try not to dream about anything dangerous.”

Peridot looked a bit insulted, but she was relieved that Jasper wasn’t insisting on watching her sleep. She was fairly certain she wasn’t going to die in her sleep, at least, so if her guardian angel wanted to binge watch something while she slept, she wasn’t going to complain.

Getting to her room was a bit of a hassle, but she was already walking considerably better, so it was mostly just keeping her balance with her hand heavy against the wall and limping her way to bed. She shed every scrap of sodden clothing until she was down to panties and then crawled her way into bed. It took a considerable amount of uncomfortable shifting and thigh-rubbing before tiredness finally beat out the insistent heat in her core, but she did finally manage to pass out, holding one of her many pillows between her knees and hugging another to her chest.


	3. Sweet Dreams (aka A Filthy Chapter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot wakes up in the middle of the night. There's literally no plot here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't posted anything nsfw in so long, but I guess I just felt like flexing my chops again. I don't know. I have set it aside in its own little chapter so you're free to skip; you won't miss anything.

Jasper’s mouth was hot on her pert nipple and the angel’s hands were warm on her hips, the pressure keeping Peridot from arching into the touch like she wanted to. She let out a breathy moan and gripped the sheets beneath her, nearly trembling in anticipation--

Only to let out a little whine as Jasper released her nipple, leaving it wet and sensitive in the cool air. The sound died on her lips, though, as the angel’s warm touch moved from her hips between her legs. Skilled fingers pressed against her clit, rough and far more eager than she would have thought, and she was already trying to move her hips in time with the rubbing motions, panting and making soft little whining sounds in her own eagerness.

She heard the angel’s gruff voice, and it took a moment for her to realize it was a command,  _ Look at me _ , and she was complying before she even realized it, meeting the angel’s vibrant gold gaze and shivering at just how  _ intense _ Jasper looked despite her lopsided grin. She only had a moment to take in the look before she felt two of the angel’s fingers enter her, her hips bucking in surprise as she let out a whiny moan, just trying to keep her eyes locked with Jasper’s as the angel started thrusting, sending pulses of heat and pleasure through her, gathering in her core, and before she knew it she was teetering on the edge, panting, moaning, just short of  _ begging-- _

Peridot woke with a start, needing a moment or two for her to register that she was in fact in her own bed. And alone. The feeling of Jasper’s warmth faded and she shifted her hips with a whiny little groan at the memory of her dream. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on getting back to sleep, getting back into the dream, but the insistent need in her core wouldn’t let her rest.

Shifting her hips and trying to rub herself with the pillow between her legs proved fruitless, not enough stimulation with her on her side, and she let out a disappointed whine at that realization. She pushed herself up onto her knees and looked over at her clock, squinting without her glasses but able to see that it was a little after four.

A bit of shifting against the pillow between her legs and she let out a soft moan at the pressure and sensation, not even realizing immediately when she started moving her hips in a sleepy, slow rhythm. Once the flutters and flickers of renewed pleasure sank in, she started a bit and blinked before shifting some, riding the side of the pillow a bit better and even letting out a soft moan.

Once she started waking up more, Peridot raised one hand to palm at one of her breasts, rolling the nipple between two fingers and squeezing, massaging, holding onto the mental image of Jasper behind her, Jasper’s warm hands cupping and teasing her breasts, Jasper’s broad, warm body pressed against her back--

Her other hand slipped inside her panties, giving her clit a little something more to grind against, and with that motion her mental image changed as well, one of Jasper’s hands moving to slide down her belly-- at this she gave a shiver and a sigh, just short of a moan-- and work her way inside Peridot’s panties, thick fingers pressing in between the folds and teasing at her clit while her hips bucked and her legs trembled--

Her grinding continued, soft moans slipping out between her panting breaths, habit keeping her voice low and soft so as not to be heard by any roommates. Her hips bucked against her hand, clit grinding on the soft pads of her fingers and the pillow providing the rest of the sensation. If she focused, she could almost  _ feel _ the heat of Jasper’s body, and before she quite realized it she was moaning out the angel’s name, trembling--

The mental image of Jasper shifted again, this time pressing warm lips to the curve of Peridot’s neck, at first a soft kiss and then sucking, bruising, claiming-- and the thought had Peridot panting heavier, heat blooming at the base of her belly and suffusing her body--

She bucked her hips again, her movements becoming more frantic and her soft moans becoming quiet gasps, slick fingers working desperately against her clit and her legs trembling. Her fantasy of Jasper turned into fragments- lips and teeth and warm, rough touches, heavy breathing on her neck, her name in that low, gruff voice--

Peridot arched her back and moaned Jasper’s name as she came, holding her position and trembling, panting, as heat and pleasure washed over her, pulsing from her core and spreading until she could feel her rapid heartbeat in her fingertips.

Aftershocks were still crackling through her as she relaxed and withdrew her slick fingers from inside her panties, sank back down onto her bed. The thought of Jasper around her, warm and breathing easily, flickered through her head.

She wasn’t even awake long enough afterwards to feel guilty, body and mind taken up by pleasant warmth and pure exhaustion as she slipped back to sleep with the pillow still between her legs.


	4. Christmas Episode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a rather rocky start to the day, Jasper and Peridot watch some TV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I'm getting these out as fast as I am. I swear this isn't normal for me; I'm just having so!! much!! fun!!
> 
> I love these nerds and I hope you do too.

Peridot woke slowly, shifting her hips all uncomfortable as she tried to figure out why she-  _ oh _ .

At the reminder of her early-morning activity, she sat up abruptly, kicking the pillow to the other end of the bed like it was the one at fault. It felt like her face was just  _ radiating _ heat at the memory, and she pushed the thought out of her head to climb out of bed and settle her glasses on her nose.

According to the clock, she’d slept until noon. However, the number of fucks Peridot was in the process of giving after yesterday was hovering somewhere in the negatives.

She put on the nearest dirty shirt she could reach and poked her head out of her door to make sure nobody was around. Once she was certain nobody was around, she darted across the hall and into the bathroom, in desperate need of a shower first and foremost.

When she was finally under the water, she found herself just staring down at the faucet for- well, she wasn’t entirely sure. But by the time thoughts actually started spilling through her head, there was at least a part of her that would have preferred the mindless staring instead.

Did getting off to a fantasy of an angel count as a sin? Is she going to hell? What if Jasper could read minds- what if Jasper  _ knew _ oh god, what if she had super angel hearing or something and had heard, could she do that? It would be just her luck, wouldn’t it, for the angel in charge of keeping her from dying for two weeks to have heard Peridot moaning her name on  _ the first night-- _

Peridot shook her head to clear her mind and stop the oncoming panic, only to unbalance herself with the movement-- and proceeded to slip, feet going up and butt going down, landing in a clattering din of falling bottles, flailing arms, and rapid-fire expletives.

The door to her bathroom slammed open before Peridot had even started to recover.

“Peri are you okay-?” Jasper panted, pulling the shower curtain aside before Peridot even had a chance to reply.

“ _ GET OUT!”  _ Peridot’s immediate response was to ball up and cover as much as she could, shrieking at the invader and glaring over her knees.

Jasper practically fell over herself trying to flee, flinging an apology behind her as she scrambled out, slamming the door behind her from rushing instead of pettiness.

Peridot just. Sat there, for a while, balled up and panting and staring at the faucet again as water ran down her back and forehead, Her mind was going a mile a minute, refusing to stop or even slow down long enough to let her catch her breath, and it took several long minutes before she even realized that her whole body  _ ached _ from the fall. She shivered, a little, even under the hot water, and closed her eyes, trying to breathe long and deep and steady. Calm, calm, calm. Three in, seven out. You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay.

She relaxed backwards into the tub, closing her eyes and letting the water hit her face, and stayed like that for some time. She nearly slipped again when she pushed herself back upright, but didn’t fall this time. Her actual washing, after it all, was quick and haphazard. She didn’t want to be in the shower any longer than she absolutely  _ had _ to, now.

She wrapped herself in a towel and darted across the hallway again, taking refuge back in her own room and locking the door behind her this time. Getting dressed took a while, not from any sort of indecision but because she didn’t even want to  _ face _ Jasper right now, not sure what the angel would think after… any of this.

The smell of  _ food _ is what got her dressed, finally: a favorite sweatshirt, green and just a little too big, and jeans. No shoes. She padded her way warily out into the common area, sniffing every few steps to try and place the smell. It was definitely food, yes.

Jasper was sitting on the couch, watching tv, but she paused it once Peridot stepped out.

“Sleep well?” Jasper seemed a bit- uncomfortable, more sheepish than anything else. Peridot nodded, looking aside. “You okay?” Another nod from Peridot, and Jasper looked even more uncomfortable. “Listen, I’m- sorry. Shouldn’t have done that. Won’t happen again.”

Peridot nodded again.

“Thanks. Sorry I’m so clumsy. You’ve got your work cut out for you.” Peridot’s voice sounded- lower, like some of the life had gone out of it. Jasper wrinkled her nose and furrowed her brow at that, opening her mouth like she was going to say something before she closed it again. She pointed lazily at the kitchen.

“Made some macaroni ‘n cheese. There’s some left for you.”

It was Peridot’s turn to wrinkle her nose.

“...Jasper. I didn’t  _ have _ macaroni and cheese.” She looked confused for a moment longer before she jumped a little. “You didn’t-”

“No, I didn’t steal anything. Thievery is apparently frowned upon in this establishment.”

“Then how--”

“There are three food banks in this city. I had time to hit all of them since you slept until noon. People are feeling all warm and fuzzy and giving this time of year, so we’ve got some really good stuff.”

Peridot was still and quiet for a few long seconds, looking at Jasper in awe. Then she leaped forward to hug the angel’s neck, only to have Jasper practically climb the couch to get away from her. Peridot stopped, confused, and stepped back until Jasper no longer looked like a panicked, cornered animal.

“S-sorry- I-” Peridot started. Jasper just- huffed and crossed her arms, looking away with a grimace.

“If I’m touched, it’s on my terms.”

“I- uh- right,” Peridot shifted her weight from foot to foot nervously, looking away. “Won’t… happen again.”

Jasper exhaled hard through her nose, giving Peridot frightened goosebumps until the angel closed her eyes and visibly relaxed some.

“It’s okay. You should eat. What do you have to do today?”

Peridot nodded and turned quickly, making a beeline for the kitchen and calling back as she goes.

“Honestly, I don’t have to do anything today. Had my last exam yesterday-” she shivered at the reminder of her failure there- “But I think I’m pretty much free to live on the couch until my last assignment is graded and returned, so that’s… two? Three days? Depends on when I get the email. She’s kind of a scatterbrain, so I really don’t know how quickly she’ll be done grading everything. My luck, she’ll have lost my assignment and I fail that one too.” Peridot fell quiet for a moment, thinking about just how much truth was in that statement. Then she shook her head and grabbed a bowl, started loading it with macaroni and cheese. “On the bright side, how much trouble can I get in in my own dorm?”

“Please,  _ please _ don’t tempt fate like that.”

Jasper sounded completely exasperated when she spoke, and Peridot actually flinched a bit at the tone. But- well, she wasn’t  _ wrong… _

Peridot sighed and grabbed a fork on her way back into the common room, where she folded herself up on the armchair and started eating. Jasper unpaused the tv, and for a while they were just sitting near each other and watching the show. Peridot was lost at first, but it was easy to pick up on context after a little while, and by the time she was halfway done with her food, she was watching with interest.

The tense atmosphere between them dispelled as the episode went on. Jasper’s posture relaxed until she was spread over the loveseat, taking up most of it; Peridot was still folded up into a ball on the armchair, but once she set aside her empty bowl, she wrapped her arms loosely around her legs and settled her chin on her knees. The tension in Jasper’s shoulders and Peridot’s face disappeared as they got lost in the story onscreen.

When the credits rolled, though, and the next episode started, Peridot wrinkled her nose and frowned.

“Ugh, Christmas episode. Can we skip this one? Hate these.”

Jasper raised an eyebrow.

“I want to watch it. This is a good show, it’ll be fine. Swear to God.”

“I just hate Christmas episodes. Everyone’s all happy and loving, and families are perfect, and things work out okay in the end, and it’s just not  _ realistic- _ ”

“Peridot. I am an angel sent from God to make sure your dumb ass doesn’t die of bad luck. A, I’m pretty sure that means I outrank you. And two, you’re one to talk about realistic Christmases.”

Peridot’s face screwed up into an indignant frown.

“If you’re here to  _ protect me _ , you should  _ listen to me! _ ”

“Not how it works, squirt.”

Peridot huffed and looked away, mumbling something to herself.

“You wanna say that where I can hear it?”

“Said you’re no better than my mom. She doesn’t listen to me, my sisters don’t listen to me, it’s like I’m yelling into a void.”

Jasper actually paused at that, leaning forward and resting her arms on her knees.

“Sisters, huh? How many?”

“Second youngest out of six. Think my mom just mass-produced us until she found one she could be proper proud of.”

“Jesus, it’s not a clown car-”

“Right? God, holidays suck. Only reason I wanted to go this year is my Gran. She’s getting up there, so…” Peridot sighed. “Hope I can back home to see her sometime. She’s about the only one who doesn’t think I’m the failure of the family, and I’d really hate to lose her before I graduate, but I’m just starting out, and I’ve already waited so long, and I just really- really-” Her voice wavered for a moment and she fell silent, shaking her head.

Jasper looked- almost worried, but as quick as the expression flickered onto her face, it was replaced by her usual grumpy half-frown.

“Don’t see how you’re a failure if you made it to college. Better’n I did.”

“Yeah, but I’m late. I’m…” Peridot just made a little motion with her hand, tapping her temple. “This is my first year, and I’m twenty-two. My little sister’s about to graduate with a Bachelor’s and heading to law school. And she’s learning her fourth language. And she plays three instruments. Two more are already doctors. One’s running a startup and the other’s bumpin’ her head against the glass ceiling at a marketing firm. And I’m still here failin’ basic biology.” Peridot sighed.

“...what are you even in for?” Jasper asked. When Peridot looked over, the angel actually seemed  _ interested _ , and she blushed.

“Biomedical engineering. I’m gonna make prosthetic arms and stuff. Technology’s progressing so quickly that by the time I’ve graduated we’ll probably have made it so that full nervous system integration is streamlined enough that prostheses that can feel are affordable enough to be commonplace. But I’ve got a long time before I can do anything like that, especially now that I’ve failed  _ Bio 1 0 fucking 1 _ because I skipped a question and marked everything wrong because of this  _ stupid God damn mother fucking shitty ass luck- _ ”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, suddenly you’re Samuel L Jackson with that mouth. Fuck’s gotten into you?”

Peridot seemed flinch a bit before looking over at Jasper, face flushed from the rising anger and panic.

“S-sorry-” She shook her head. “Sorry, I just- I don’t know what I did to deserve this.”

“Sometimes shit happens. Sometimes the universe just decides to trip you and then beat the shit out of you. But hey, I’m here to help you up and beat the shit out of the universe right back.”

Peridot’s face broke into a broad grin at that.

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve said to me-”

Jasper started a bit, a little jerk in her body as she looked away, the lighter patch of skin across her cheek and eyes showing a bit of a blush.

“Don’t get used to it. God sent me, I didn’t pick you and I didn’t want anything to do with this.”

Peridot just relaxed back into her seat with a little smug smile, happy that Jasper seemed to be warming up a bit despite her denial.

“We don’t have to watch the Christmas episode. Wanna watch something with a shitload of explosions instead?”

“Heck yeah. Got any recs?”


	5. Picky Picky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot is not allowed to help cook.

“You’re not helping me cook. I’m not letting you anywhere near anything sharp or flammable. I’ve worked in the mess hall before so just  _ chill _ and  _ let me do this _ .”

Peridot whined at Jasper, almost wiggling a bit in place like an overeager puppy.

“I just feel so useless! I don’t need to live in a bubble, Jasper!”

“You cut yourself while washing your hands yesterday, Peri. I can make stir-fry on my own. Go sit down and try not to randomly die on me.”

Peridot looked for a moment like she was about to object, fists clenched and posture stiff, but then she just sighed and deflated. She wasn’t going to the common area yet, though. Instead, she circled around the counter and sat her butt down on one of the stools.  _ Rebellion _ .

She flopped forward onto her arms with a huff.

“I don’t like stir-fry.”

“We’re a little restricted in our options here. Like half the canned stuff would only taste good slathered in butter, which we used the last of yesterday, or doused in soy sauce.”

“The soy sauce isn’t mine.”

“Nobody notices the condiments, Peridot.”

“I do.”

“Okay,  _ almost _ nobody notices the condiments, Peridot.”

Peridot just huffed again. Apparently satisfied, Jasper started rustling around in the meager collections of pots and pans to pull out what she needed to start the rice.

“I saw you pick the peas out of the soup last night. You’re such a picky eater.”

“You’re just indiscriminate,” Peridot grumbled, though she didn’t seem particularly upset.

“Have you ever eaten an MRE.”

“...no? Ew, why would I.”

“I’ve eaten enough MREs and oversalted mess hall meals that my tastebuds consider anything else a fuckin’ delicacy.”

“Peas just… they’re squishy. Don’t like peas, don’t like carrots, don’t like broccoli. They’re all squishy.”

“Picky, picky,” Jasper grumbled, but Peridot saw her push the unopened can of peas out of the gathered cans in an almost idle motion.

“Will you eat corn? Green beans? Had those in the soup last night, so-”

“Yeah.”

“Mushrooms?”

“Mmn… maybe. Not too many.”

“Right, so… the big one. Spam?”

“Uh- I’ve never…”

Jasper held up the can, her back still to Peridot as she was getting the food ready.

“Bout the only option for protein besides the peanut butter.”

Peridot made a little almost disgusted noise, but gave a resigned sigh.

“Cut it up into pieces I can pick out if I don’t like it.”

“Picky, picky, picky.”

Peridot couldn’t quite place Jasper’s tone with the angel’s back turned, but it sounded almost-  _ playful _ .

With the rice boiling, Jasper turned her attention to the cans, touching each one with a finger to make sure she’d gotten the right ones. Then she made a soft little  _ oh _ sound and went back to the cabinets to pull out two packs of chicken ramen and a small can of water chestnuts.

“Yours?”

“Ramen yes, water chestnuts no.”

“Damn.” Jasper returned the can to the cabinet, and Peridot watched as she removed the flavor packets from the ramen and then crushed one of the blocks of noodles into smaller pieces with a quick blow with the side of her fist. She popped a few pieces in her mouth and crunched away as she started opening and draining the cans of veggies.

Peridot watched with interest as Jasper worked, the angel seemingly completely at home in the kitchen. For the most part, she could only really see Jasper’s back and arms (and ponytail), but the look on the angel’s face whenever she turned towards the sink sent a little shiver through Peridot with just how confident and  _ intense _ Jasper looked. She watched the angel’s arms move as she cut up the Spam, grabbed cans without looking and discarded them once they were empty, added the ramen flavor packets, the soy sauce…

The sizzle and smell of the stir-fry filled the room, and it was all done too fast for Peridot’s liking. She’d been enjoying seeing her angel like this, confident without being arrogant, intense without being unsettling,  _ at ease _ , fluid in her movements…

Peridot was so distracted that she jumped when Jasper turned around, the sudden shift knocking her stool backwards--

As she closed her eyes to prepare for impact, there was instead the clatter of plastic on the laminate and she  _ stopped _ \-- she looked down in awe at the dark-skinned fist grabbing a handful of her tee, and then at Jasper’s face. The angel was panting, almost panicked, and neither of them moved for a few seconds, trying to process what had just happened.

“Th-thanks-” Peridot finally stammered.

“ _ Stop. Trying. To Get. Yourself. Killed. _ ” Jasper growled, pulling Peridot back upright and not releasing the front of her shirt until Peridot had stood of her own accord. Peridot only really managed to nod, still shaken.

Jasper bent down to pick up the spoon that she’d dropped and sighed down at the mess on the floor.

“‘Least I didn’t drop the whole pan. Seriously, Peri, you are a  _ menace _ .”

Peridot just mumbled some kind of attempt at an apology and stepped back, shrinking in on herself and looking away. She looked like she was about to cry, lower lip quivering and shoulders starting to shake, breathing quickly, and she didn’t even notice Jasper coming up beside her until the angel pushed a bowl of rice and stir-fry into her hands, speaking in a low, steady voice.

“C’mon, Peri. What d’you wanna watch while we eat?”

Peridot was quiet, blinking at Jasper dumbly for a moment before her brain kicked in and she said the first thing to come to mind.

“F-Food Network.”

“Food Network it is.”


	6. Slipping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot goes to pick up her paper. A bad time is had by all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what to warn for in this, but it gets a bit more serious and intense than it's been before? idk i'm bad at this i'm sorry orz
> 
> thanks again to corpseauthority on tumblr for helping me come up with a title???

“I can’t believe you’re not cold.” Peridot crunched her way through the snow just a bit ahead of Jasper. She was in a hoodie and had another, bigger coat on over it, with a scarf and a green knit hat as well; Jasper, however, was in her cargo pants and the biggest of Peridot’s shirts that she could find, and that was it. It was short-sleeved, and tight enough that the outline of both her bra and the undershirt could be seen through it, as well as further evidence that the cold at least had an _effect_ on her. The jacket she’d showed up in was wrapped around her hips instead of anything more useful.

“Doesn’t bother me. I’m hardy.”

“You have a coat.”

“Yes.”

“You’re not wearing it.”

“Yes I am.”

“You’re not wearing it _right_.”

Peridot half-turned to look at Jasper, only to slip on a patch of ice. Jasper had her by the collar in an instant, and they were back to walking like nothing had actually _happened_ in moments.

“Better range of motion like this. You want me to be a half-second slower with a coat on?”

Peridot’s response was just a huff and some kind of mumbled concession as she stuck her hands in her pockets.

“English building isn’t much further ahead.” Peridot mumbled. Her English professor had, at _long last_ , gotten their final papers graded and set them out in her box. It had been five days since her last exam, and most of the campus had been closed down since then, with only a few frantic faculty members still on campus trying to get their grading finished. It was ridiculous, making her wait this long, especially with her luck now -- what if her professor really had lost her paper, what if she was going to fail a second class because of it, she only had three more that might even save her, and her GPA was already shot because of her flubbed Bio exam--

“Chill,” Jasper’s voice came from behind her. “You keep breathin’ all heavy like that and you’ll get yourself sick.”

Peridot jumped a bit, pulling back to herself abruptly. She hadn’t even noticed she’d been breathing heavily. Once she was aware, though, she started focusing on slowing her breathing back down. Long breath in. Long breath out. She was breathing normally-- or at least, as normally as she could while walking in cold weather-- in only a handful of breaths, grateful that Jasper had caught it before she had gotten too worked up.

“Better. If you get pneumonia, I quit.”

Peridot snorted and shook her head, but then she was looking up at the English building -- Kirkwood Hall -- and taking a shaky breath before pushing the door inwards. The rush of warm air had her exhaling in a happy sigh.

Jasper followed her through the labyrinth of halls and offices until she stopped in front of a series of shelves with little markers on them. Peridot poked her way through the different slots until she pulled out a sheaf of papers and started flicking through them.

She reached the end and made a little strangled noise, murmuring _no no no_ as she started flipping through them again, shifting from foot to foot in a bouncing motion.

“Nono _nonononono_ where is it- where- n-no-”

Jasper’s hand fell heavy on top of her head.

“Not in there?”

“N-no- I know I turned it in, I just-”

“Figures. Chill. Email your professor or something.”

“I can’t fail _two_ classes this semester--”

“Peridot. Stop.” The weight of Jasper’s hand on her head grew heavier, the angel pushing down a bit. “Put the damn papers back before you drop them. I’m not playing fifty-two pickup.”

Peridot’s too-tight grip on the sheaf of papers relaxed just a bit, though her hands shook as she stuffed the pile of papers a bit haphazardly back into the proper slot.

“I’m going to fail. Two classes. They’re going to kick me out and I can’t go home after one semester I _can’t_ prove mom right I can’t- I-”

“Stop. Talking. Chill. Breathe. Email your damn professor and see what happened. I will knock you out and carry you back over my shoulder if I have to.”

Peridot fell silent, though her hands were pressed to her cheeks and she was still bouncing and shifting, nervous energy keeping her from being able to stay still.

She let out a shriek as the angel lifted her effortlessly and slung her over her shoulder.

“JASPER-”

“You’re too antsy and you’re makin’ _me_ nervous now. We’re going back to your dorm.”

Peridot wiggled a bit, fists bapping uselessly against Jasper’s back as the angel started wandering back down the hallway, but she wasn’t screeching to be let down. In fact, after a few moments, she was snorting and then _giggling_ , and before long the angel was letting out little huffs of badly-concealed laughter as well.

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah, I- a little. You can put me down now.”

“Good, because I have no idea where we are.”

Peridot snorted again as Jasper set her down, and then she motioned for the angel to follow her back through the labyrinth of halls.

As they started walking back to her dorm, Peridot put her hands in her pockets.

“You’re right, though. I should email her. I could email my bio professor, too, see if she’s willing to help out… I mean, maybe my luck will get good enough after Christmas that it’ll work out… somehow…”

“See? Not so bad after all. Not the end of the world.”

Peridot slipped a bit on an unexpected patch of ice with a little yelp, but Jasper was once again there to grab the back of her coat and steady her.

“You’re a menace.”

“Thanks,” Peridot snorted.

“Don’t mention it,” Jasper grumped, looking off to one side.

“I was thinking we could make the other pack of macaroni when we get home? Maybe watch The Princess Br-” Peridot’s musing was interrupted by the sound of a series of cracks and pops, loud and rapid, what she recognized as a string of firecrackers not too far off. Some dumbass too excited to wait for New Year’s, probably-- “ASSHOLE! Anyway, Macaroni and cheese and The Princess Bride when we get back? What do you think, Jasper?”

Peridot continued walking as she waited for a response, but she stopped once she didn’t get one and started turning.

“Jasper, c’mon, the silent treatment doesn’t-- Jasper!”

The angel was several steps behind her, on her knees in the snow, hands covering her head and visibly shaking, eyes closed and face screwed up in a mask of pain and fear. Peridot practically fell over herself trying to reach Jasper.

“What’s wrong- Jasper- are you okay what’s going on-”

“ _F-fire-_ ” was about the only thing Jasper seemed to be able to force out, and Peridot was on her knees in front of the angel, hands held in front of her like she didn’t know what to do, visibly agitated.

“Yeah- Jasper- they were just firecrackers, don’t- what’s gotten into you--”

“N-no-” Jasper grunted, shaking her head and curling up more. “C-cover- safe-”

Peridot seemed to start, and Jasper’s offhand comments about MREs and drills and mess halls suddenly made _sense_ \--

“Jasper, we’re safe--”

“ _N-no-_ -”

Peridot looked around frantically, then stood, grabbing Jasper by the arm and trying to pull her up.

“C’mon, there’s a building right here- we can get to cover- c’mon, I got you-”

Jasper seemed to stumble upwards in a daze, her motions clumsy like she wasn’t quite in her body proper. Peridot grabbed her by the arm, but then slung it over her shoulder, half-dragging the angel with her and panting, Jasper’s panic infectious.

“I got you, Jasper, I’m here-” Peridot tried to keep herself from panicking as well, knowing it wouldn’t do either of them any good. She kicked the technology building’s door open unsteadily and shouldered inside, having trouble getting the both of them through the doorway at first until she turned and started tugging Jasper with her.

Jasper mumbled something Peridot couldn’t make out as she stumbled through the door, gaze still vacant and frightened, but she was obedient as Peridot pulled her to one of the couches in the lobby and pushed her into the seat. For a few long seconds all Peridot was doing was standing in front of Jasper and looking frantically at the angel, bouncing and shifting anxiously, until it _clicked_ in her head and she was shuffling her coat off and trying to settle it around the angel’s shoulders, wrapping her scarf around Jasper’s neck. It- _looked_ like a panic attack, or at least how they felt--

Jasper was still panting, breathing fast and shallow, body shaking, jaw slack and eyes unfocused, but Peridot rested her hands on the sides of Jasper’s head and tried to speak as steadily as she could manage.

“Jasper. Jasper, look at me- Look!” She tried to sound commanding and confident, but it was hard. There seemed to be a flicker of understanding, though, as the angel’s still-vacant eyes flicked up to meet hers. “Good. Good, Jasper. We’re safe in here. Warm. Feel it? We’re safe. It’s quiet now. Nod if you understand. Safe.”

It took a moment, but Jasper blinked and nodded with jerky movements, just once.

“Good. Breathe with me, okay? In for four seconds-” she breathed in- “Hold it for seven-” she did her best- “And out for eight. Can you do that for me? I’ll count. In for four- you’ve got this--”

The angel wasn’t quite able to manage it the first few times, but as Peridot continued counting, Jasper’s breaths grew easier, slower, and the trembling lessened. Peridot watched the light come back into Jasper’s eyes as they focused on her.

“See me? We’re safe.”

“Safe.”

“Good. You back?”

“Y-yeah, I-” Jasper’s voice was husky and she sounded like she was about to cry. “B-been a while…”

“You must really hate Independence Day,” Peridot said, making an attempt at a grin that didn’t quite work out. Jasper didn’t laugh, but she did huff a _Ha!_ that was close enough for Peridot.

“Sorry,” Jasper said, still husky and thick like she was still having trouble finding her voice and making her tongue work.

Peridot exhaled and relaxed, raising her hand to pat Jasper’s hair, leaving her hand there like Jasper had done before.

“Don’t worry about it. Panic attacks aren’t things you can plan on, y’know?”

Jasper seemed to visibly relax at that.

“Can we… stay here for a little while?”

“Yeah, no problem. The Princess Bride can wait.”

“Thanks.”


	7. Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper speaks more than she has in the entire fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh, suicide mention in this chapter. I realize that makes it Kind Of A Spoiler but I'd rather ya'll be spoiled a lil than triggered a lot, so.
> 
> love ya'll. i need sleep. TT3TT god i hope i'm not going Too Far here

Jasper was quiet for some time, hugging her arms to her chest and still shivering a bit occasionally. Peridot folded herself up on the chair beside Jasper and made a show of playing with her phone, but she looked up every few seconds to make sure that the angel was doing okay.

“Sorry you had to see that,” Jasper said, her voice still low and a bit husky, but regaining its usual growl.

“Huh? Why? You’ve seen me in the shower. I think our relationship has progressed to the point where we can have panic attacks in front of each other.”

Jasper gave a little  _ heh _ and shook her head.

“Bet you think I’m weak now, huh.”

“Jasper. You’re like six feet tall and I think you’re made of stone. ‘Weak’ doesn’t even rate in the top two hundred adjectives I could use to describe you.” Peridot actually grinned at bit at the sight of the lighter skin on Jasper’s cheeks reddening, but the angel just made a low growly noise and looked away.

It was quiet for a little while before Peridot spoke again.

“So you were a soldier?”

Jasper looked up, then over at Peridot, brow furrowed before she nodded.

“Dad was in the Army. Strict. Mom died in childbirth, so all I ever knew was the military. Soon as I could, I enlisted. Took my first tour as soon as possible, all ready to fight.” She sighed and shook her head. “Wasn’t like the movies, or even my dad’s stories.”

Peridot nodded and leaned forward a bit, hand raised like she was going to pat Jasper on the shoulder, but was unsure about whether she should. Jasper just looked down at the hand and shook her head wordlessly. Peridot nodded and returned her hand to her lap.

“How many… tours?” Peridot asked, the word a little odd in her mouth.

“Two. First one… it wasn’t too bad. Hot, sandy, bad food. Some skirmishes. Second one went all to hell.” Jasper sighed. “My dad always told me, Jasper, you’re gonna go over there with ten men, and it’s your job to make sure you come  _ back _ with ten.”

Jasper fell silent, and Peridot watched the muscle in the angel’s jaw tighten over and over again as she exhaled shakily. She didn’t speak for several seconds.

“I didn’t. I made a mistake. Didn’t notice an IED…” Jasper closed her eyes and shook her head. “The ones who didn’t come back in pieces in a body bag came back… missing limbs, bodies all torn up…” Jasper sighed and looked down at her hands, closing them into fists and opening them again, slowly, a few times. “And here I am. Whole. I was the only one, thrown free of the wreck and only broke an arm. I tried pulling who I could out of the wreckage, but…”

Peridot’s hands had moved over her mouth as she tried not to make any sounds, not to interrupt Jasper, but after a moment she found herself speaking anyway.

“But if you didn’t die there, what… happened?”

Jasper looked over at Peridot and seemed to almost bristle up like a cat, looking almost frightened.

“Y-you don’t have to--” Peridot started, but Jasper shook her head.

“No, no, you want to know. I was discharged. And I just… never got used to living on this side of the pond. I couldn’t sleep well. Had nightmares. Panic attacks. Kept a gun in reach at all times and a knife in my boot wherever I went. I couldn’t stop thinking about what I could have done, how I could have done better, done more, at least saved  _ one more man _ , but…” She shook her head again, as if to clear out the memories. “The shrinks said it was Post-Traumatic Stress. I told them to fuck off.” Jasper just  _ snorted _ at that. “No treatment and a bad breakup later, and there wasn’t a damn reason for me to stick around any more. I just wanted things to be over.”

The words settled deep in Peridot’s belly, and she felt herself going cold, murmuring a soft little  _ oh, no _ . Jasper gave her a humorless grin, pain in her eyes.

“Oh, yes. I got this gig because I ate a fuckin’ bullet. Only way to get into Heaven after what I did. Turns out there wasn’t a Hell for me to go to, so the only direction for me is up. I don’t have a choice in the matter.”

Peridot pushed herself out of the chair and walked stiffly in front of jasper, turning to look at the angel with her arms stiff against her sides.

“I’m sorry. I’m going to hug you now. I hope that’s okay.”

She didn’t wait for an answer before she threw her arms around Jasper’s neck. The angel stiffened, but didn’t pull away. She could feel Jasper relaxing under her touch over the course of several seconds, but when Jasper spoke, her voice was low and level.

“You don’t need to feel sorry for me. I got what I deserved.”

Peridot stiffened and pulled away, shaking her head.

“What the fuck, Jasper? Nobody deserves that!”

“Sure they do.”

Peridot rested her hands on either side of Jasper’s head, very nearly squishing the angel’s cheeks, and looked into her eyes, glancing from one to the other in little motions. Jasper’s eyes seemed- tired, resigned. It was a look that Peridot hadn’t seen on her before, and it was… saddening, really, it made her heart drop piece by piece.

“You… really believe that.”

“Yup. On the bright side, Earth’s about as close to Hell as I can get at this point, so I might as well thank you for your shit luck.” Jasper reached up to grab Peridot’s wrists, move the woman’s hands away. “Now, are we going to go back to your place? I want food.”

Peridot worked her hands free and stepped back, worrying her hands together awkwardly.

“I- yeah. Yeah, I’m hungry. Let’s go.”

Jasper stood, Peridot’s jacket slipping off her shoulders, and returned both coat and scarf before untying her own coat and putting it on. She started heading back towards the door, then paused and half-turned.

“Hey, Peridot… thanks. For caring.”

“O-oh- n-no problem.”


	8. This Is Not An Anime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know that fight every couple gets into in the Lifetime Original Movies? That. It's that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have i mentioned yet that i love you guys bc i love you guys

Jasper seemed to recover quickly, back to her usual grumpy self once they made it back to the dorm. They called it a day after they ate, though, both human and angel exhausted. Jasper slept for the first time Peridot had seen, sprawled out over the loveseat in the absence of something bigger, and snored like a motherfucker.

Peridot didn't really expect things to go back to normal, but they did. Jasper was still an overprotective grump who insisted that Peridot was trying to make her job harder. She wasn't sure why she was expecting things to change; the angel had only opened up in a moment of weakness, and would be gone in four more days anyhow. It didn't matter.

So Peridot tried to get back to normal, too. Put the confession and approaching disappearance of her guardian angel out of her mind. Jasper certainly seemed to have no trouble doing so.

“Gimme the remote,” the angel grumped, reaching over to grope in the direction of the remote control. From her perch in the armchair, Peridot pulled it further away.

“No! This is a classic! You really should learn to appreciate this artistry--”

“No,” Jasper said, making another theatrical swipe at the remote. “I’m tired of watching your animoos. I wanna watch Cutthroat Kitchen.”

“ _ Anime is an art, Jasper.” _

“Your animu is too esoteric for my dumb ass  _ gimme the damn remote. _ ” Jasper swiped fruitlessly again.

“You can pronounce  _ esoteric _ but not  _ anime? _ ”

“Kiss my esoteric ass.” The angel pushed off the loveseat and nabbed the remote easily. “ _ Ha! _ ”

“Cheater!” Peridot huffed, swiping to try and get the remote back but failing miserably as Jasper settled back onto the couch.

“Winner,” Jasper taunted, flipping through to find Cutthroat Kitchen.

“Give it back!”

Jasper held up the remote playfully, wiggling it at Peridot.

“Come and get it, short stack. You have two minutes before I put it on top of the cabinets.”

Peridot was on top of Jasper before either of them quite realized it, trying to wrestle the the remote away as Jasper was using one hand to push her away and the other to hold the remote out of reach, both of them laughing like idiots.

“ _ You altitudinous motherfucker. _ ”

“You tiny-ass piece of shit.”

“Gimme!”

“Ask nicely!”

“Jasper!”

“Jasper!” The angel’s voice sounded whinier, imitating Peridot’s tone as she held the remote up and out of reach. “You’re not gonna get it, squirt-- whuh-!”

Jasper’s surprise was mostly from the fact that Peridot had straddled her hips and pushed off her shoulder to reach up for the remote, and Peridot froze up herself as she realized that she’d just shoved her tits  _ directly _ into Jasper’s face from the fact that there was a nose pressing into her boob.

“Hi,” the angel said, a bit muffled. Peridot forgot all about the remote as she leaped backwards, turning bright red and stumbling back into the coffee table a bit. Jasper’s cheeks were rather pink, too, eyes wider and a dazed grin on her face. They were both quiet for a few heartbeats; Jasper broke the silence and stillness with a huffy laugh as she pushed herself upright and started heading to the kitchen. The remote was held between two of her fingers as she wiggled it on her way.

“Looks like I won, Peri~!” Her voice had a bit of a trill in it as she swaggered slowly across the room. Peridot snapped out of her embarrassment and stumbled after the angel, grabbing at Jasper’s arm and trying to pull it down.

“You fuck!”

“And I’m damn good at it!” Jasper taunted. Peridot froze up for a moment at  _ that _ mental image, her hands slipping off Jasper’s arm. The angel turned at the sudden lack of touch just as Peridot tried to regain her grip and Jasper ended up elbowing Peridot in the face.

She lost her balance and fell to the floor with a pained yelp, hands moving to cover her face. Jasper’s demeanor changed immediately, remote clattering onto the counter as she crouched down in front of Peridot.

“Shit, fuck, I’m so fucking sorry, Peri, are you okay- lemme see your face-” Jasper pried Peridot’s hands away. Her face was red and her eyes wet with unshed tears, and a trickle of blood was already making its way from her nose. Jasper pressed a finger very lightly to the bridge of Peridot’s nose, then exhaled and started hauling her upright.

“You broke my nose!”

“It’s not broken, Peri, shh. C’mon, before it starts dripping too much, into the kitchen.”

“‘S bleedin’-”

“Yeah, lemme help you with it.” Jasper hefted Peridot to her feet and started dragging her to the sink. “Over the sink. Lean your head forward, pinch the soft part.”

“Thought ‘m s’posed to lean back-”

“Nope. I've had my fair share’a nosebleeds. You don't want that going down the back of your throat.”

Jasper guided Peridot over the sink, then left her to her own devices as she headed to rifle through the freezer. Peridot watched the deep red dots appearing drop by drop in the sink until Jasper returned to press a single-serve bag of frozen wine cooler over Peridot’s eyes and the bridge of her nose.

“Your freezer is nothing but burritos and booze.”

“College.”

“It still hurt?”

“Lil bit. Gettin’ better though. Feels gross.”

“First nosebleed?

“Ye.”

“This one isn’t so bad. Must be losing my touch.”

“Ha,” Peridot laughed flatly. “Can’t believe my guar’ian angel gave me a nosebleed.”

“Said I was sorry,” Jasper mumbled, almost like a chastised child.

“Ye. Don’ worry. My bad luck did more’n you. ‘M not mad.”

Jasper lifted the frozen wine cooler and Peridot blinked at the change in light. The angel still looked worried, but as Peridot grinned, Jasper seemed to relax.

“I’m a menace.”

“Thought that was me,” Peridot said, a more natural laugh in her voice.

“My turn today. How’s the blood?”

“Slowin’ down.”

“Anything I can do?”

“Yeah,” Peridot murmured, her face breaking into a grin as she held out her hand. “Remote.”

“You  _ fuck _ .”

“Ye. ‘N ‘m pretty good at it, too.”


	9. Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To stave off cabin fever, Jasper and Peridot go out to get milk and cookie dough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this is the chapter it would be a good idea to let everyone know that I have this fic planned to end with chapter 12, so after this there are gonna be three more chapters. love ya'll!! ;w;

Peridot hopped from one foot to the other, panting lightly. Jasper looked up from the book she was flipping through and sighed.

“Peri if you don’t cool it, I’m tying you to a chair.”

“I’m just--! We’ve been inside for days! It’s Christmas!”

“Christmas Eve is not Christmas.”

“I’m going crazy Jasper can we just go out for a little while, I just want to walk around. Can we do something besides tv or books or video games  _ please _ I just want to  _ go _ .”

“Everywhere is closed, squirt.”

“There’s a gas station just off campus that’s always open no matter what I bet they have cookie dough and milk and I think I have enough in my change jar for that we can make cookies for Christmas and I can get out and-”

“Peridot I swear to  _ God _ .”

“Jasper can we just  _ go _ I mean there’s nobody here what could go wrong you catch me when I fall and we’ll look both ways when we cross the street and-”

“ _ Peridot _ . If it’ll shut you up, we can get the cookies.”

Peridot let out a whoop and disappeared into her room. Jasper flopped back against the loveseat and sighed.

It took maybe five minutes for Peridot to reappear, coat on over her green sweatshirt and a pocketful of jingling change.

“I have nine dollars! You think that’ll be enough?”

“Probably,” Jasper pushed herself up from the couch with a groan. “Probably like three bucks each. Maybe we can get some eggnog, too.”

Peridot made an  _ ooh _ sound as Jasper wrapped her coat around her waist again. She didn’t even bother with another shirt, just the undershirt and bra.

“You’re going to freeze like that.”

“Peridot. I’m already dead. It doesn’t matter.”

“You eat and sleep like you’re still alive. You must get cold.” Peridot said, opening the door and almost wiggling a bit in place as she waited for Jasper to go through it.

“I eat and sleep because I want to, not because I need to. I just like being cold, I guess. It doesn’t bother me.”

“Okay then, Elsa-”

“Excuse you.”

“ _ Okay, then, Elsa _ , are you gonna hurry up or am I going alone?”

Jasper rolled her eyes and walked  _ very slowly _ towards the door while Peridot continued to bounce from foot to foot.

“You keep that up and you’ll roll your ankle again,” Jasper said, patting Peridot’s knit cap further down on her head as she passed.

“Eh,” was Peridot’s response as she stuck her tongue out at the angel. “I’m used to it. Besides, you’re here. I’ll be fine.”

Jasper seemed to start a bit, and Peridot could see the flush as it spread across the angel’s lighter cheeks. Jasper was back to normal in a second as she stuffed her hands in her pockets and huffed her way out the door, apparently at a loss for words. Peridot grinned and let out a little snort as she closed and locked the door behind her.

It was snowing lightly as they crunched their way down the half-frozen sidewalk.

“How far are we lookin’ at?” Jasper growled.

“Eh, like… twenty minutes, max. Give or take five minutes for snow. It’s not too far.” Peridot responded, the distance between the two of them growing longer again as her steps sped up. Jasper’s steps turned longer and quicker as well to catch up, get back within arm’s length of Peridot.

“You know I could fly down there and back in no time,” the angel grumped.

“I want to walk! I need to stretch my legs. See the world. I’m going a little stir-crazy in there.”

“Okay, but if you twist your ankle again, you’re walking back on it.”

“Rude.” Peridot turned a bit, just in time to see Jasper shrug. She stumbled again, and Jasper had her back up on her feet properly in seconds. Peridot snorted and started giggling a bit. “Thanks. See, I’m perfectly safe with you.”

Jasper released Peridot’s coat abruptly and looked away. Peridot wasn’t sure if the red on her cheeks had been there before, but a part of her hoped that it hadn’t.

“I’m going to let you fall next time for that. Just. Bloop, splat. Runt on the ground.”

Peridot made as if she was going to playfully punch Jasper, only to stop and just point accusingly at her instead.

“Liar. You wouldn’t.”

“I would. Try me.”

Peridot turned and started walking again, making wobbly little steps after a while.

“Oh no! I’m so clumsy! I think I might fa-all! Whoops!” She turned a bit and kicked one leg up, then started wobbling properly as her expression changed to fright and she pitched backwards. “Fuck-!”

Jasper leaped forward to catch her, and before Peridot was even on her feet again she was giggling.

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“You’re a menace and I hate you. Don’t do that again.”

Peridot snorted and shook her head as she started walking once more, a bit more care in her steps as she picked her way through the snow and ice.

“Don’t worry. I won’t.”

Peridot took extra care in every crosswalk, looking both ways and making absolutely certain there was no chance she might be run over. Each patch of ice was met with careful steps, and the few times they had to cross over especially snowy areas, Jasper grabbed the back of her coat pre-emptively to make sure she wasn’t falling all over herself.

Jasper huffed a  _ Finally! _ as they reached the gas station, and Peridot was almost certain she heard a pleased sigh as they walked into the warmth of the convenience store. She was grinning as she walked to the back of the store, where she knew the tiny cold grocery section was.

She grumbled at the prices, but with a little mental math was able to grab a pint of eggnog as well as half a gallon of milk and a roll of chocolate chip cookie dough. She would have preferred sugar cookies, for the season, but the selection was rather unfortunately small.

Jasper was two aisles over in the candy section -- hopefully not stealing anything, though she had a feeling the angel had been mostly kidding about it since the first mention -- and Peridot just grinned to herself eagerly as she started walking towards the counter.

She was just at the end of the last aisle as the door slammed open, and Peridot jumped at the sound, then backpedaled at the sight of two men in black ski masks. Both men had guns, pistols, and were pointing them at the cashier. Whatever they were yelling was already muffled by the abject panic that hit her as soon as she realized what was going on, and her hands started shaking as she looked around, hoping to see Jasper--

The angel was unable to really hide, towering over the stacks like she was. She saw Jasper glance over to her worriedly, then focus on the men at the counter who were demanding cash and waving their weapons. Jasper had pure  _ murder _ in her eyes as she took one step forward, and the second man swung his gun around to point at her, the motion quick and nervous. Peridot’s breath caught in her throat and she stumbled forward, numb fingers dropping the food she’d gathered as she tried to reach the angel, lips forming  _ Jasper _ before her voice kicked in.

“Jasper-!”

She saw the second man’s gun swing around again, those same jerky, nervous motions-

There was the sound of a shot and a flash, and the sudden feeling of  _ pain _ , like she’d been punched in the gut, or--

Peridot stumbled again and looked dumbly down at her belly, at the bloom of red across the green, and her knees buckled. The sounds around her muffled further, and even as she hit the floor everything was already darkening around her.

There was a flash of bright white, and then it all faded to nothing.


	10. Looking Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of an attempted robbery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY /)A(\

Colors crept slowly into the darkness, starting with blurry little smudges of white that grew brighter and brighter. Next came an earthy brown and tan, and a pale almost-pink blurred in with the white, and flecks and smudges of gold. It was all-  _ bright _ , too bright after the darkness, and she closed her eyes again after a few seconds.

“C’mon, short stuff, it’s time to wake up.”

It sounded like Jasper’s voice, but it was low, and worried, as soft and warm as the touch on the side of her face. Peridot furrowed her brows and made a soft little whiny sound, leaning into the touch and mumbling something about it being too early.

There was a little huff that Peridot recognized as Jasper’s laugh, but a bit more nervous than usual, a little breathier.

“It’s dark outside, sleepyhead. We’ve got to get back to the dorm.”

Peridot slitted her eyes open, still dazed, and tried to make them focus. Apparently she’d fallen asleep with her glasses on, because Jasper’s worried face swam into view after a few moments. Jasper’s worried face, a little circle of gold light above her head, and two arcs of white feathers on either side.

“...wings,” Peridot mumbled, her tongue all thick and dry, like it hadn’t been used in some time.

“...that’s what you get out of this?” Jasper said with another little huffy laugh. “How d’you feel, Peri?”

Peridot wrinkled her nose, pushing herself into a sitting position. Jasper backed off a bit, giving her a little space to move.

“Mmn…” She blinked and looked around dazedly. She was in the convenience store off campus, and Jasper was on her knees in front of her. The angel- actually  _ looked _ like an angel, clothes notwithstanding, with great feathered wings and a small, glimmering halo just slightly tilted over her head. Peridot herself was on the floor near the cash register. There was a moment of confusion before she jumped and patted down her chest and belly, hands coming away clean and dry. “Okay! I’m okay- I didn’t get- what hammf-!”

Peridot’s words were cut short as the angel grabbed her by the sweatshirt, lips crushing against hers in an unsteady, anxious kiss. Her eyes started slipping closed, but as soon as Jasper’s lips were on hers, they were gone.

“ _ Don’t. Ever. Do that. Again. _ ”

Peridot was silent for what felt like hours, her face bright red and expression star-struck, until she finally remembered to breathe.

“ _ Me?! _ Jasper, you had one job-”

“All you had to do was stay still, I had it under control!”

“They were going to shoot you!”

“ _ I AM ALREADY DEAD. _ ”

“I just- wanted- you to be safe…” Peridot mumbled almost petulantly, looking over to the side.

“Peridot…” Jasper started, then sighed. “I told you. I’m already dead. You’re a little late.”

“B-but look, I’m fine-!”

“Peri, you  _ died _ .”

“Wh-” Peridot paused and blinked. “But… my shirt…”

“I fixed it. I had one miracle… when I brought you back, your shirt came too.”

“Shirts have spirits?”

“Peridot I swear to God.”

Peridot laughed nervously, trying everything she could to keep from thinking about, one, dying, and, two, that kiss.

“Thanks for saving my shirt,” she mumbled distractedly.

“Your…” Jasper looked, for a moment, completely gobsmacked. Then she started laughing. “Oh my god you  _ massive nerd. _ ”

“Jasper! It’s my favorite one! Nothing fits as well as this one does, it’s the perfect weight on my arms and chest, and it’s soft even when I forget the dryer shmmf-”

Jasper’s lips were a bit steadier against hers this time, silencing her train of thought handily as Peridot’s brain halfway shorted out. She was panting lightly by the time Jasper pulled away this time, her face hot, and before she quite finished thinking about it she was grabbing the straps of the angel’s shirt and crashing their faces back together.

Their teeth clicked and their noses smushed together and it was, altogether, the most disorganized kiss Peridot had ever initiated. But Jasper saved her again, shifting until their lips met just right, and Peridot buried her fingers in the angel’s thick hair to keep her there a bit longer. Jasper’s lips were as warm as her hands, but a bit dry, a fact Peridot tried to remedy by sucking on the angel’s lower lip and running her tongue across it--

Jasper pulled away again, panting, and looked around.

“This isn’t the best place,” she said, licking over her lips. Peridot mirrored the motion, like she was trying to recapture the feeling of Jasper against her.

“Back to the dorm?” Peridot asked giddily, then paused as a sudden thought occurred to her. “But- the robbers-”

Jasper grinned, looking almost dangerous for a moment.

“I took care of them. The owner even let us have this for our help.” She reached over to pick up a plastic bag containing the groceries Peridot had picked out before. Peridot blinked and looked around what she could see of the shop. It did look… considerably more disorganized than it had been before, with things scattered across the floor and at least one of the shelves bent oddly.

Jasper stood up and offered her hand;  Peridot took it before she even realized it, too distracted by the rustle of Jasper’s wings and the play of light across them to even notice she was standing for several seconds.

She reached up to touch one of them, but paused and glanced over at Jasper, who looked at her in confusion for a moment. Peridot rubbed the tips of her fingers together and glanced at Jasper’s wing; the angel’s eyebrows raised in understanding, and the great white wing curled in around Jasper a bit, moving just enough to brush into Peridot’s fingers.

Jasper grinned at Peridot as she started running her fingers along the angel’s wing in awe. Both of their faces were flushed at the contact, and it took Jasper murmuring something about getting back for Peridot to look up, surprised, and nod.

“Y-yeah, we should-”

Jasper’s expression grew mischievous as she leaned in.

“Wanna fly?” Her voice was lower than normal, and it had an almost purry quality to it. The feeling of Jasper’s breath against her cheek with the words was distracting, though, and Peridot was staring dumbly at Jasper, all flushed, as the offer sank in.

“F-fuck yeah,” she breathed out. Jasper grabbed the front of her sweatshirt and tugged.

“Let’s go, squirt.”

Jasper led Peridot out, only releasing her shirt to push the door open. Peridot could see a police car just outside of the fueling area, lights flashing, and two dark figures in the back seat while the cashier was speaking to the cop.

“Don’t we need… statements?”

“According to the cashier, we disappeared about fifteen minutes ago, and the security feed was unfortunately corrupted.” Jasper grinned back at Peridot like she was  _ so proud _ of her work. Peridot snorted happily, especially once the angel started to trot to the corner of the store, out from under the awning over the pumps.

Jasper stopped once they were out in the darkness, and offered the bag to Peridot. When Peridot took the bag, Jasper scooped her up bridal-style with a giddy laugh. Peridot let out a surprised sound and grabbed at Jasper, managing to wrap one arm around the angel’s neck after a bit of fumbling.

“Ready?”

“Hit it.”

Peridot watched as the angel crouched a bit and spread her wings, each one as wide as Jasper was tall, and then launched into the air. The whoosh of cold winter air and snow rushing past her made her crinkle her nose and lower her head, closing her eyes to protect them until she felt the wind slow. She opened her eyes and gasped softly as she looked around.

The town and campus were so small below them, points of light speckling the darkness. Peridot shivered at the cold, but let out an awed sound.

“So pretty,” she murmured, watching the snowflakes dance around them and meander on down to the landscape below. Jasper’s wings beat a slow, easy rhythm to keep them both still in the air, the angel even looking over the nighttime view herself.

“We could stay up here a while, if you want,” Jasper offered. Peridot shook her head.

“No, we should get back to the dorm-” Peridot stopped and blushed at the thought of what she  _ meant _ there. No, Jasper, I want to go back to the dorm and kiss some more. And maybe figure out exactly what those kisses meant. And maybe actually linger for more than a second on the fact that she  _ fucking died _ .

Peridot shivered at the reminder, and Jasper looked down at her, worried. The angel’s next wingbeats drove her forward, and her wings stayed spread as she glided her way through the night sky.

“Dorm it is, shortstack. Looking forward to those cookies, huh?”

“Cookies… yeah,” Peridot murmured.

When they reached the dorm, Jasper’s landing was less than stellar as the angel stumbled her way to the ground, mumbling an apology and something about extra weight as she settled Peridot on her feet.

Peridot wavered for a moment, building up courage, and then grabbed one of Jasper’s hands to kiss it in thanks, unable to properly reach the angel’s cheek without luck and jumping. She had a moment to see Jasper’s expression of shock before she turned and jogged her way to the door, a little smile on her face. Her cheeks were already ruddy from the cold, but the warmth that flooded her face at the kiss made it feel like her cheeks turned an even darker red.

She was disappointed to see Jasper’s wings and halo gone as the angel caught up with her, and it must have been obvious in her face, because Jasper shrugged sheepishly and mumbled something about them being big and annoying.

“They’re pretty,” Peridot urged, holding the door open for Jasper.

“Not really me, though.”

“I think they fit well. Big and strong and gorgeous, like you-” Peridot stopped talking and blushed furiously, digging around in her pocket to get her key out and then fumbling to unlock the door. She didn’t want to look at Jasper after that, feeling just a little  _ utterly ridiculous _ . A couple kisses didn’t give her the right to say things like  _ that- _ did they--

She kept her head down as she held open the door for Jasper, only for the angel to stop in front of her, tilt her face up, and press a kiss to her forehead.

“You’re wrong. Thank you, but you’re very wrong.”

Jasper gave Peridot a lopsided grin, though, and Peridot felt like her whole body was blushing at this point. She shut the door quickly and locked it, setting the bag on the counter and mumbling something about getting the cookies baking as she skittered around Jasper and into the kitchen.

The cookies were in the oven, with the milk and eggnog put away, when Peridot settled down into the armchair, trying to watch whatever it was Jasper had put on the tv. She was too antsy to focus, though, and ended up just watching Jasper for a little while.

Then, though, she finally managed to gather enough courage to  _ speak _ .

“You kissed me,” she said. Her courage did not come packaged with eloquence. “You saved me, and you kissed me--”

Jasper jumped a bit and looked away, nodding.

“Y-yeah, I- guess I- got caught up in the moment- I was just so happy you were alive.”

“Kissing isn’t the first thing most people would think of…” Peridot almost felt like she was baiting Jasper, like this, but it was the truth. She would have expected a hug, but a  _ kiss _ …

“Well, most people don’t think you’re fucking adorable, so,” Jasper said, looking away. “Most people haven’t spent like two weeks living with you.”

Peridot blinked at Jasper’s confession, surprise and disbelief on her face. She hadn’t thought that would work.

“Like… adorable like… puppy adorable or…”

“Adorable like I’ve wanted to fuck you into this damn couch so many times I’ve lost count.”

Peridot just.

Stopped.

Her brain shorted out for a few long seconds, her expression one of shock and relentless glee.

“I don’t- think people call that  _ adorable _ -” is all she managed to think of.

“I do,” Jasper grunted, looking all grouchy and uncomfortable again, like she’d said something distasteful. “I like bein’ around you.”

“...Me, too,” Peridot mumbled, a little dazed. “I mean, bad luck aside… you’ve been great. I’ve loved having you here.”

“It’s… been fun,” Jasper murmured. “I think… if I’d had you, before, I’d…” The angel trailed off and shook her head. “Nevermind. My time’s up tomorrow, so it doesn’t matter.”

“Well-” Peridot mused, then took a deep, stabilizing breath. “I mean, if we’ve just got one more night…”

Jasper looked over at Peridot, looking surprised. Peridot stood and took a deep breath, pulling at the collar of her shirt, before she stepped towards Jasper.

“...may I?” she asked, indicating the angel’s lap. Jasper nodded dumbly, and Peridot slid into her lap, straddling Jasper’s hips and pulling her into a kiss.

This time, it was slower, less frantic. A little clumsy at first, still, the both of them unsure of whether to go on, but by the time Peridot buried her fingers in Jasper’s hair and Jasper grabbed Peridot’s hips, they found their rhythm.

Jasper’s grip on her hips shifted a bit, until the angel was guiding her into grinding a bit; the realization had Peridot gasping and pulling away for only a moment before she starts shifting her hips in time with Jasper’s grasp. The kiss was slow, and warm, and Jasper would pull away just a bit after a moment only to close back into the kiss.

Peridot leaned back a bit, breaking the kiss as she reached down and pulled her shirt off, leaving only her bra. Then she was right back into it, shorter, easy kisses, but speeding up a bit, starting to pant some, eagerness creeping into her actions. This was happening. She sucked on Jasper’s lower lip and pulled away with a gasp, looking over the angel’s face in wonder, like Jasper’s bicolor skin was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.

The oven beeped insistently and Peridot let out an exasperated curse.


	11. It's Not Called a Loveseat for Nothing (aka More Filth)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper and Peridot finish what they started. ;3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Smutmas! \o/ godihopethisisokay

The cookies, once rescued from the oven, were forgotten in favor of Peridot climbing back into Jasper’s lap.

Most of Peridot’s confidence was gone, though, as she settled down in front of the angel. Her hands hovered between them in an almost-touch and she couldn't look Jasper in the eye.

“We don't have to do this,” Jasper said, her voice low and uncharacteristically soft. “If you want to stop, we can watch something dumb and eat those cookies. Heard they're to die for.”

Peridot blinked, expression blank for a few seconds until what the angel had said sank in properly.

“Oh my  _ God _ , Jasper.”

“Hey, if you’re still up for this, I can have you saying that for another reason.”

“ _ Oh my God, Jasper _ .”

Peridot leaned in and rested her forehead on Jasper’s chest, shoulders shaking with laughter.

“Too soon?” the angel asked, grinning sheepishly.

“You dork,” Peridot snorted, shaking her head and grinding her hair a bit into Jasper’s chest. Jasper reached up to tangle her fingers in Peridot’s messy, blonde hair and tugged lightly, trying to get her to raise her head. Peridot complied, looking up at the angel all flushed and sheepish herself.

“How d’you feel, squirt?”

“If we’re fucking, you have  _ got _ to think of something sexier to call me.”

“How’s starlight sound?”

Peridot seemed to zone out a bit at that though, her face breaking into a grin before she wrapped her arms around Jasper’s neck, pressing an eager kiss to her lips. She broke away panting.

“ _ I love it! _ ”

Jasper grinned like an idiot at that.

“So… guess that means we’re doing this, huh?”

Peridot leaned in and pressed a kiss to Jasper’s nose.

“Yeah. We’re doing this.”

Peridot buried her fingers in Jasper’s hair as she closed in for another kiss. This one was shorter, Peridot pulling back panting to look at Jasper through half-closed eyes, her face flushed.

“You’re okay with this?”

“Yeah,” Jasper huffed, her own cheeks darker. “‘Course.”

“Just makin’ sure,” Peridot panted. She pressed a kiss to Jasper’s cheek before moving down to kiss the curve of her neck, her hands drifting down to Jasper’s shoulders while the angel’s rested on her hips. She sucked lightly and, for a breath, wondered if the angel would bruise. She sucked harder, eliciting a breathy sound from Jasper, and then moved to another spot. Her hands groped a bit distractedly to the hem of Jasper’s undershirt, tugging it up to expose the angel’s chub, and then worked under it, enjoying the heat of Jasper’s body.

Jasper’s hands sank into the back of her jeans, cupping her butt and startling her into straightening up, panting and surprised. Jasper grinned at her.

“Couldn’t let you have all the fun,” was the only warning she got before Jasper started taking control, pressing warm kisses to the tops of her breasts. Peridot made a strangled little sound and patted Jasper’s face, pushing her away. The angel looked confused and even a little worried until Peridot tugged her bra over her head and dropped it on the floor, giving Jasper a new expanse of pale skin to pay attention to.

Peridot was about to return to her ministrations when Jasper’s mouth closed hot and wet over a nipple and she found herself gasping abruptly instead, hands blindly groping until she managed to bury them in Jasper’s hair again, letting the angel know she wanted her to  _ stay there _ .

Jasper’s hands gripped her butt, massaging lightly as Jasper lavished attention on Peridot’s nipple, sucking and circling it until Peridot was trying not to squirm, panting and making soft little whiny sounds at the way the warmth of Jasper’s mouth was traveling through her body, settling in her belly and the tips of her fingers and toes.

By the time Jasper released her nipple to the cool air, Peridot was already flushed and panting, and when Jasper reached up to thumb the wet nub it elicited a squeak, followed by a breathy little sound. Jasper’s warm mouth closed over the other nipple, distracting Peridot while the angel’s hands relocated to the hem of her jeans. Jasper had her fly open and both pants and panties pushed down with a speed that was hardly angelic.

Jasper released Peridot’s nipple to grunt  _ Movin’ _ just before rolling to the side and pinning Peridot down on the loveseat. The angel laid her down with a gentleness that was completely opposite the way she hungrily pulled her pants the rest of the way off.

Jasper pressed a kiss to one of Peridot’s nipples before trailing them down her belly, breaths quick and hot against her skin. Peridot tugged at Jasper’s hair and whined the angel’s name, practically squirming under her attention.

Jasper was on her knees on the floor by the time she reached between Peridot’s spead legs, and she pressed a kiss to the short, darker hairs there before dragging her tongue up Peridot’s slit. The contact elicited a surprised squeak from Peridot, and she was certain that she heard Jasper huffing  _ Cute _ as she felt a puff of breath against her.

Peridot let out another whiny sound as she felt Jasper’s tongue parting her folds, slow, hot licks against her clit and entrance, the heat it sent creeping through her pooling in her belly, coiling up slow and careful.

She made a loud squeaky sound as Jasper slid a single finger inside her, surprise taking over for a moment, but as Jasper started working it in and out her surprise turned into little soft whining sounds, soft gasps and huffy breaths. Jasper’s tongue worked against her clit at the same time, and all Peridot could see when she looked down was Jasper’s mop of wild, light hair, her hands buried in it for stability.

A second finger joined the first, and Peridot let out a whining moan, hips twitching as she fought the urge to squirm, with the way heat and pleasure were winding through her body. As Jasper’s thrusts sped up, Peridot’s squeaks and gasps and whiny moans grew higher, faster, her legs halfway wrapping around Jasper’s head as she tried to ground herself more.

The heat coiling up in her core surged outward and her vision went white for a brief moment as she arched and moaned, loud and high and whiny, coming harder than she had expected-

Jasper didn’t stop, sucking at her clit and still thrusting, and it felt like the heat and energy wasn’t leaving, vibrating through the tips of her fingers and toes, leaving her panting heavily and whining and gasping. What started as a hell of an orgasm turned into too much of a good thing, her vision going fuzzy around the edges and the sensations growing almost painful. Peridot found herself making pathetic little whining sounds and patting at Jasper’s hair weakly as she squirmed, trying to form the words she needed.

“J-Jasper- s-stop--”

As soon as the words were out, the angel stopped, looking up at Peridot worriedly.

“‘R you okay?” She asked, voice husky and thick, expression worried. Peridot could see a sheen of fluid across Jasper’s nose, and she let out a huffy laugh before she found words, a little easier this time.

“Y-yeah, I- i-it’s great, ‘m- it’s- a lot,” Peridot’s words were still broken up by heavy, almost gasping, breaths. “‘Was awesome, tho- just- a lot--”

Jasper nodded and pulled away, taking a moment to lick her lips and suck her fingers clean. Peridot watched the show, filing that memory under “things she never wants to forget, like, ever,” and panted softly, slowly starting to recover.

“S-sorry. I can stop?”

Peridot thought for a moment before nodding, but she was grinning a bit dazedly as she did so.

“Y-yeah, I- figure ‘s your turn anyhow.”

Jasper backed away as Peridot pushed herself up onto shaky legs, both of them panting. Peridot put a hand on Jasper’s shoulder, like her legs weren’t completely dedicated to keeping her upright just yet, and leaned in for a kiss.

“H-how- d’ya feel about- s-strap-ons?”

Jasper blinked, looking at Peridot like she was surprised she’d asked.

“Good. Wait, you or me?”

“Me,” Peridot said, a grin pulling at the corners of her mouth.

“ _ Fuck _ yeah,” Jasper breathed out, almost in awe.

Peridot leaned in for another kiss before she started walking towards her room, pausing after a few steps to look back at Jasper, who had apparently been watching her go.

“Be ready when I get back?” she asked, looking far more innocent than their current actions dictated.

It took a little longer than Peridot expected to get into the harness; it had been a while since she’d last used it, and it was a bit twisted up. But once she had it settled over her hips, she patted the silicone shaft happily and watched it bob. It was a good-sized toy held firmly against her by the O-ring, with platelike ridges on top of the shaft and two lines of piercing-like studs down the underside. It was, like many of her favorite things, bright green. She couldn’t wait to see Jasper’s reaction.

She practically swaggered her way back out to the common area, only to stumble a bit and freeze up as she got there.

Jasper had taken her request seriously; the angel had stripped to nothing and was sprawled across the couch with her fingers buried in the dark hair between her legs. Peridot stopped and watched dumbly at the movement of the angel’s fingers, working against her clit at first before slipping inside. Jasper let out a low, breathy moan as she worked her fingers in short movements. The angel was breathing heavily and Peridot found her breaths beginning to match.

Peridot regretted having to stop her, but she  _ had _ wrestled herself into this strap-on just for Jasper. She took a few steps forward and cleared her throat, trying not to look as worked-up as she was getting again.

Jasper paused and trembled slightly, like she didn’t want to stop, before she looked up at Peridot.

“Oh,” she said, taking in the sight of Peridot like this and grinning. At the sight of the studded dong, though, she seemed confused. “That’s new.”

“Is it too weird?” Peridot asked, worried. “It’s my favorite, but I’ve got something more- normal-”

“No, no-” Jasper said, beckoning Peridot closer. She took those last couple of steps a little shaky with worry. Peridot watched as Jasper sank to her knees and took the studded green dick in her hands, running her fingers over the ridges and studs before she grinned up at Peridot and took the head of the toy between her lips.

Peridot murmured a breathy  _ Fuck _ at the sight of the angel lavishing attention on the toy. She watched as Jasper dragged her tongue along the shaft and over every stud, sucked on the head and took as much of the toy’s length in her mouth as she could. Her face was bright red at the show, and the sight of Jasper’s intense gaze looking up at her at the same time had her giddy.

When Jasper pulled away, there was still the sheen of her saliva on the toy. The angel shuffled back a bit, then turned around and rested an arm on the couch. She shifted one of her legs a bit, then reached back to spread herself open with two fingers, looking over her shoulder at Peridot, who was absolutely enamored by the display of Jasper’s eager, dripping entrance.

“Don’t leave me waiting, starlight,” Jasper growled, stirring Peridot out of her trancelike state. Peridot stumbled forward eagerly to grip the angel’s hips, guiding the toy to Jasper’s entrance and pressing inside carefully, giving the angel time to acclimate to its size. 

Her thrusts started once she’d gotten half of the toy inside Jasper, short but slow and easy, trying to get the angel loosened up before she started going too quickly or too deep.

“Tell me- ‘f it’s too much-” she huffed. Jasper looked over her shoulder again with a grin and gave a lazy salute with two fingers, grinning and so far very clearly enjoying herself.

Her eyes roamed over the expanse of skin on Jasper’s back, the play of dark and light skin looking much like a painting. She watched as Jasper started pushing back into her thrusts. The angel was too quiet for Peridot’s tastes, though, too taciturn, like she was trying to keep herself under control even now. So once Jasper seemed relaxed enough, she picked up her pace.

At her first faster, harder thrust, Jasper let out a surprised moan, and as her breaths huffed out she grunted  _ More! _

Peridot complied, leaning more into her thrusts and just  _ loving _ the way she could feel Jasper pushing back, the feeling of their thighs meeting, the grunts and almost  _ growls _ she could hear from Jasper now that she was moving more.

“ _ H-harder, starlight- _ ” Jasper rasped, grabbing the couch cushions for dear life and pressing her face into the seat. Peridot complied eagerly, her thrusts going harder, faster, hilting inside the angel with every one.

She could see the muscles in Jasper’s back tensing up with Jasper’s hair swept over her shoulder like this. Could see the tendons in the angel’s arms. Jasper’s sounds weren’t as telling, but Peridot could see her  _ body _ responding, tensing--

She could feel more resistance against her thrusts, and she tried to keep steady. Jasper was starting to make breathier sounds, louder, faster-

At the sound of a low, throaty moan, she felt more resistance and a splash of liquid against her thigh. Before the moan had even faded, Peridot was practically blinded by a white light, and by the time the spots faded from in front of her eyes she could see Jasper’s wings arching from her back. She slowed in awe at the sight of the angel losing control like that, but Jasper didn’t even seem to notice.

“ _ Don’t- stop- _ ” she growled, panting heavily and pressing back into Peridot’s slower thrusts. Peridot sped up and Jasper’s wings drooped, twitching and moving oddly, but after a few thrusts it seemed like Jasper got them under control. The angel’s great wings folded in, for the most part, without completely closing. Peridot noticed that one was a bit more open than the other and let out a huffy little giggle.

Jasper’s reactions were freer, now, grunts and growls and heavy breaths louder. Every few thrusts her wings would jerk and twitch, and most of the time she’d  _ moan _ , trying to get control of her wings back and too distracted to keep quiet.

Peridot’s thighs and hips were starting to burn after a while, though, unused to this much activity. She leaned into her thrusts and gave it every last dreg of energy she had in her, panting and eagerly listening for more--

She heard Jasper moan, first, before she felt the resistance in her thrusts and the splash of fluid against her leg, and the sound of it resonated through her. Jasper’s wings made awkward little flapping motions as she tried to keep them under control, but as the angel pushed back into Peridot’s thrusts through her climax, she seemed to lose even more control, wings stretching back out and half-flapping weakly.

Jasper reached up and patted the back of the loveseat uncoordinatedly before giving Peridot a thumbs-up and trying to signal she was okay to stop. Peridot sighed thankfully as she pulled out, her legs protesting, and Jasper pulled her wings against her body; they disappeared after a moment. The angel turned over and settled on the floor with her back against the loveseat, flushed and panting and looking gloriously satisfied.

“ _ Fuck, _ ” Jasper breathed, looking up at Peridot with the biggest, slightly loopy grin.

“Good?”

“Good,” Jasped sighed. “Damn good.”

Jasper beckoned her forward with a little hand motion and Peridot complied, stepping closer with the toy bobbing a little at her movement. Jasper’s hand slipped between Peridot’s legs, past the harness, and pressed two fingers inside again, eliciting a little gasp from Peridot.

“Think you can take a little more, starlight?”

Peridot flushed and nodded.

“Gimme that toy~” She said, holding her hand out.

Getting out of the harness was considerably easier than getting into it, and Peridot pulled the toy from the O-ring before it was even completely off. As she handed it to Jasper, the angel indicated the loveseat. Peridot obeyed eagerly, scrambling up on the couch and turning around to lean in the corner a bit, legs spread.

Jasper turned, ready to go, but Peridot held up her hand sheepishly.

“C-can you- um- wings-?”

Jasper snorted and brought her wings out again, white light flashing as they extended from her back.

“Like this?”

“Y-yeah- c-carry on,” Peridot stammered, having some trouble deciding between looking at Jasper’s face and intense gaze or the great white wings arching from Jasper’s shoulders.

Jasper’s fingers slipped inside her again, almost effortlessly with how wet she was, and Peridot shifted to give the angel better access as she started moving her fingers, testing how well the toy would fit, and then pressing it inside her slowly, eliciting a long, whiny moan from Peridot.

“Just- tell me if you need me to stop,” Jasper said, voice all low and concerned. Peridot nodded, watching the dark hand holding her toy as Jasper started thrusting all slow and easy. She leaned back a bit to let out a whiny moan, her expression pure bliss as she started watching Jasper working the toy in her.

Jasper leaned in, over Peridot, and coaxed her into a kiss, never stopping with the toy even as Jasper bit Peridot’s lower lip gently and gave it a tug, pulling away to lock eyes with Peridot.

Peridot couldn’t help but flush, the intensity of Jasper’s stare sending as much heat through her as the longer thrusts were. She could feel Jasper speeding up, more force behind the thrusts, and heat started pooling in her belly again, warmth spreading faster than before.

She had to break eye contact with Jasper to arch her back and moan, eyes slipping closed, and she gripped the couch for dear life, just trying to ground herself somehow. Her hips moved in time with Jasper’s thrusts and her breathing was growing faster, higher, more whines and squeaks and moans slipping out as she spiralled upwards.

Peridot felt herself go over the edge, toes curling and fingers gripping the couch, and she let out a loud, high-pitched moan as heat flooded her body. She could feel her heartbeat in her core, a rapid  _ thmp-thmp-thmp _ that pulsed through her as well. She felt the thrusting stop and opened her eyes, panting, meeting Jasper’s eyes and giving the angel a loopy little grin.

Jasper leaned in again and pressed a kiss to Peridot’s lips, using the distraction to slip the toy out of her. Peridot was left feeling rather-  _ empty _ \- but only for a second or two, distracted by Jasper’s kiss and her mind still buzzing with pleasure.

Peridot made a little  _ mmn? _ sound as Jasper lifted her up. The angel’s wings disappeared once more, and she settled back down rather awkwardly on the loveseat, letting Peridot rest against her.

“How was that?” Jasper asked, grinning down at Peridot, who was looking rather exhausted, but still gleefully loopy.

“Heavenly,” Peridot giggled.

“I cannot be _ lieve _ -”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random note: the dong that Peridot used is an actual thing! It's the Ferrosnake design from qimera on tumblr. You, too, can buy the dong that fucked Jasper. (That being said, if you would prefer Jasper to do the fucking, the Eastern Dragon is perfect for that.)
> 
> im not being paid for this i just have a lot of feelings about my wife's work i swear they're so good at this


	12. Merry Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot wakes up Christmas morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! This is the end! I'm so happy that ya'll seemed to enjoy it so much, and I hope the final chapter lives up to expectations! Thank you all so much for reading. <3 Ya'll're great!!

Peridot woke up alone.

She hadn’t fallen asleep alone, she was sure of it. She’d dozed off against Jasper’s chest, but she’d woke up in her own bed.

She sat up abruptly, with a gasp. Jasper. Christmas.

Peridot stumbled out of her bed and threw on the nearest things on the floor to cover herself, out the door in half a minute. Jasper was going to be on the couch, watching Netflix, just like every other morning- right--

She rounded the corner and the common room was empty; her heart dropped to the floor and she started to sniffle, raising a sleeve to wipe at eyes that were absolutely  _ not _ filling with tears-

It was Christmas and Jasper was gone. She just- she just disappeared without a word. Without a goodbye.

Peridot padded over to the couch and sat down on it with a huff, the sound weak like she was trying to sound annoyed and failing miserably. Of course Jasper didn’t say goodbye. Jasper didn’t want to be here in the first place. Jasper wouldn’t have had anything to do with Peridot any other time, so why would it be any different-

Peridot hiccupped and sniffled, lower lip quivering, and fat tears started rolling warm and wet down her cheeks. Of course Jasper wouldn’t want to stick around a trainwreck like her. Of course Jasper had left at the first opportunity. Why couldn’t she have stayed longer? At least- at least to say  _ goodbye- _ -

“Y-you bitch,” Peridot whined, looking at the floor and pulling her knees up to her chest. Her tears dripped onto her pajama pants, now, and she sniffled loudly. “You- you fucking- utter- I-I hate you--!”

She jumped up and turned around to punch the back of the loveseat, repeating  _ I hate you I hate you I hate you _ childishly with each punch until she quieted down and just sank to her knees in front of the loveseat, looking at the wall like it had answers.

She climbed up into the armchair and balled up and just stayed like that for- she wasn’t even sure how long; her mind was a swirl of self-loathing and despair and bone-deep  _ loneliness _ that the empty dorm room only seemed to amplify. She wasn’t sure how long she sat there, or how many times she stopped crying only to start up again. She didn’t care. She was just so  _ alone _ .

By the time she’d cried herself out, she was ready to push herself to her feet and get on with things. It’s okay, Peridot, it’s not like Jasper was perfect or anything. She was… annoying, and brutish, and pushy.

...But she was also funny, and protective, and caring despite her gruff outer shell.

But she was  _ gone _ , Peridot reminded herself, and that was what really mattered. She’d left without saying goodbye. Jasper was gone, and she’d never see her again.

Peridot must not have been  _ that _ important after all.

She had already run out of tears. She just- had to get on with things. Get a shower. Get some clothes on. Move on.

Maybe there was somewhere with free food for Christmas. Maybe she could make the day a little less shitty… Probably not, but the only direction she had available at this point was up, right?

Her shower was spent sitting down in the spray and sighing, the steam at least helping to soothe the stopped up nose she’d gotten from crying. She watched the faucet like it had answers, only to come away with the same empty feeling in her chest.

She got dressed, but couldn’t bring herself to leave the dorm. So she sat, barefoot and sniffling, in front of the TV, trying to find something to watch that wasn’t cheesy-happy-feelgood garbage. Because she certainly wasn’t cheesy-happy-feelgood. She was just garbage.

When she got around to checking her email, she was surprised to find emails from both her Bio and English professors. Her English professor had gotten her essay mixed in with another class… and her Bio professor was offering to let her retake the exam, since she’d finally realized what had happened.

She exhaled, long and shaky. Her luck was looking up, now, wasn’t it? So why did she still feel empty?

After a while, her phone buzzed with a text from an unknown number. Her breath caught in her chest at the rapid-fire series of texts.

[starlight, let me in]

[i’m out front]

[it’s fucking cold]

Peridot let out a little laugh that sounded much closer to a sob, trying not to cry. She’d call it a cruel joke, but nobody else knew about Jasper. So that meant Jasper must really be--

She practically fell over herself getting to the door, and then out to the front door of her building.

Standing outside in the snow, wrapped up in a coat and scarf, was Jasper. She was holding the leash of a black lab with a red vest on and her breaths were puffing out in little clouds of white. There was a brilliant grin on her face.

To her credit, Peridot managed to keep from jumping on Jasper. But as soon as Jasper was inside, Peridot was wiggling excitedly in place, bouncing and grinning like an utter fool. Jasper’s grin grew lopsided and amused as she motioned for Peridot that it was okay.

And then, Peridot practically jumped on Jasper, wrapping her arms around her neck and kissing like she hadn’t seen her in years.

When they parted, breathless, Peridot looked at her in wonder.

“I thought you weren’t coming back,” she said.

“God gave me a second chance.”

“And the dog?” Peridot asked, indicating the lab. The dog yawned and looked up at Peridot.

“Siddi here got a second chance, too. And I’m… enrolled for next semester. I’ll be going here, too-- maybe be a social worker, help other vets.”

Peridot brightened, but after a moment or two she shifted nervously, looking off to one side.

“What about… me,” she mumbled. “Us.”

Jasper leaned in and pressed a kiss to Peridot’s forehead.

“Someone’s gotta protect you from yourself. I’ll be here. You think… you can work with a trainwreck like me?”

Peridot snorted, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.

“I-if you can deal with a trainwreck like  _ me _ .”

“I won’t leave if you won’t.”

“Deal.”


End file.
